Ladies and gentlemen, clear the fairways and protect your ears.
This week's featured matchup was between the two biggest trash-talkers in the league: Joe B and Jay.
Jay entered the match carrying an impressive 0-Whatever record. In fact, league statisticians had almost stopped tracking his season because they assumed he'd never win.
Standing opposite him was Joe B, generally regarded as the league's best golfer and a man whose confidence level suggests he personally taught Tiger Woods how to swing a club.
What happened next can only be described as a complete collapse.
Jay employed a brilliant strategy: play just well enough to keep Joe around and then let Joe self-destruct.
The fireworks came on #9.
Joe stepped onto the tee looking confident. Minutes later he looked like a man trying to escape a crime scene. After a disastrous tee shot and an even worse second shot, Joe carded a SEVEN.
A SEVEN.
Against Jay.
Jay didn't even need a handicap stroke to win the hole.
When the smoke cleared, Jay had pulled off the upset of the season, winning 4 holes to 2.
Joe shot an ugly 48.
Jay has officially doubled his win total for the season from zero to one.
League headquarters is considering a drug test.
Bob H escaped with a victory, but not before one of the greatest scandals in Little Dogg Golf League history unfolded.
At some point during the match, Carl's golf ball mysteriously disappeared.
Witnesses report seeing either Jim H or Bob H pick up the ball and place it directly into a pocket.
Unfortunately, both suspects are old enough to immediately forget what happened.
The investigation remains ongoing.
Police have no leads.
Carl still wants his ball back.
Bob gets the win.
Mike H showed up and immediately started handing out beatings.
While Jim T searched for his swing, Mike casually posted a stellar 45 and stomped all over him.
To make matters worse, Mike collected the bonus point by shutting Jim out completely.
Sources say Jim is currently reviewing security footage to determine where his golf game went.
Mike leaves with maximum points and absolutely no sympathy.
Rosey shot a 47.
Read that again.
A 47.
Some league members claim Rosey hasn't broken 50 on the front nine since the Obama administration.
JR also carded a 47, but thanks to handicaps and league math that nobody fully understands, Rosey grabbed the victory.
Rumors that Rosey bought a new putter, new golf balls, and possibly a new identity have not been confirmed.
Fresh off his detox stint in Georgia, Don returned looking refreshed, relaxed, and surprisingly functional.
The result?
A victory.
Meanwhile, Flip, who officially retired from golf approximately six days ago, has already returned.
This makes Flip's retirement shorter than most milk expiration dates.
League historians are now placing odds on his next retirement announcement.
Don gets the win.
Flip remains week-to-week.
Kevin was steady all night.
Fairways.
Greens.
Pars.
Boring. Effective. Winning.
Carl, meanwhile, spent the evening alternating between Tiger Woods and a drunk guy swinging a rake.
One hole he'd look ready for the U.S. Open.
The next hole he'd look ready for miniature golf.
The inconsistency led to a 53 and another loss.
Kevin walks away with the win.
Carl walks away wondering where his golf ball went.
🏆 Upset of the Year: Jay defeats Joe B.
🚨 Active Investigation: Missing golf ball allegedly pocketed by either Jim H or Bob H.
📈 Most Improved: Rosey, who apparently discovered golf this week.
🔄 Fastest Retirement Return: Flip.
💀 Biggest Collapse: Joe's seven on #9.
🎯 Performance of the Week: Mike H's dominant 45 and shutout.
🍺 Reminder: This is a social golf league. If you're taking any of this seriously, please report to the clubhouse immediately for a cold beer and an attitude adjustment.
CONGRATS to last years Champ Bob !
2026 Schedule Final (pdf)
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The league was established well over 30 years ago. Our league has been as small as 12 golfers and as many as 22. Our league is handicapped at 80% and we do Match Play. So if you have 1 bad hole you are not out of the match. Our league is point driven. Show up...get 1 point. Win your match win 3 points, Tie your match win 2 points, beat your match by 5 holes or more get a bonus point. Top 4 point getters play in the league championship 1 vs 4 and 2 vs 3. Money pays top 4 spots. We also have a Willy Wonka Golden Ticket event that gives every golfer a "ticket" when you show up to play. After the last round of golf on the last regular match day of golf each player is given an individual ticket for each time they showed up. We select a ticket from all tickets given out and the holder of that ticket wins the Willy Wonka Golden Ticket! With that ticket, if you ARE NOT in the top 4 point getters you get to challenge the 4th place point holder for his spot in the Championship Rounds. (It's like a wild card spot). If you do not finish in the top 4 point getters don't worry you are entered into the losers bracket with all other golfers out of the top 4 and get to compete for money prizes as well that sometimes is more money than the League Champion 1st place! But...no bragging rights.

Out of Bounds is a stroke and distance penalty! There are only 4 holes that have out-of-bounds with white markers. #13 if you go past the top of the hill behind the green. #14 & #15 holes, anything to the top of the hill on the left of the fairways is out of bounds. #16 past the cut grass behind the green is also out of bounds.
All other balls that leave the course are played where they lie or take a penalty stroke and place anywhere on the course in the line of flight from the club to its final resting place.
1. If the ball is within the golfer's shoe length, you can pick up with a "Gimmie" otherwise, you have to putt it out. No one can tell you to pick it up
2. We play winter rules. You can move the ball with the club head ONLY, no more than 12" from where it rests and not to alleviate an obstruction.
3. Every stroke is counted if you are attempting to strike the ball, even if you swing and miss.
4. Every time the putter touches the ball on the green, it counts as a stroke.
5. Rainouts will not be replayed or made up IF every match is not completed that day, no matches will count.
6. Senior Tees can only be used by golfers 67 and older
7. Hitting another golfer's golf ball is a 2 stroke penalty
8. If your ball carries a water hazard and hits land across the water, you can drop on that side of the water even if the ball falls back into the water
9. Dues are $50. If dues are not paid in full after the third week, you cannot register a win.
10. All matches MUST ride in the same cart
11. Double par is the highest score you can put on your card. HOWEVER, you must keep track and play out every hole because of match play
12. Any golf ball that enters a sand trap and the sand trap condition is bad, FREE lift on the furthest side of the trap away from the pin.
13. IF YOUR SCORE CARD DOES NOT HAVE A TOTAL SCORE AND DOES NOT DENOTE THE MATCH WINNER, NEITHER GOLFER GETS CREDIT FOR A WIN OR TIE. CHECK YOUR SCOREKEEPER'S CARD!!
14. Golfers who do not have a match that day can "Grudge" another golfer who does not have a match. You can only "Grudge" another golfer 1 time
15. Any golfer who does not have a match and is a single golfer MUST play against their average to secure a win or tie.
16. Matches tied DURING PALYOFF rounds: the lowest score on the easiest handicap hole wins that hole and onto the next easiest handicap hole until someone wins if the scores are still tied (using your handicap).
17. You will start next year with this years ending average
18. If a golfer, who finishes in the top 4, cannot compete in the championship rounds, the next golfer in line will fill that spot. If the lottery winner is not present the day of the drawing, a second number WILL NOT be drawn and the top 4 will compete WITHOUT a wild card match!
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